Tag Archives: parenting

Journaling For Self Discovery

33 Ways to Use Your Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression

As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process. Here are some journaling ideas if you’re not sure where to start:

1.    Write down what happened today and how you felt about it.

2.    Write a letter to a person you are angry with. Say everything you are feeling and wish you had the nerve to say.

3.    Draw a picture of the person you wrote the letter to in #2.

4.    Make a list of all the things you are grateful for. List all the big things, all the small things, and everything in between that you can think of.

5.    Circle the three most important things on the list you made in #4. Write a paragraph for each, expressing your appreciation to the person who had the most influence over it. If possible, turn this into an actual letter and send it.

6.    Make a list of the things that you feel upset about right now. Write down as many as you can think of until you can’t think of any more. Then choose the top five.

7.    For each of the top five things you identified in #6, list 10 things you can do to gain control of the situation. Circle the top three from each list.

8.    Make a timeline that represents your life. Fill it in with the most significant events that have shaped you: your early years, your teen years, and each decade that has followed. Draw pictures or icons next to the most important events. Use crayons or markers if you wish.

9.    Write a few pages about your feelings about the timeline.

10.    Describe how your life would be different if _____ had or had not happened.

    Here are some examples:

a.     If your parents had divorced

b.     If your parents had remained married

c.     If your parents had been married

d.     If your mother hadn’t passed away

e.     If you hadn’t moved to

f.     If you had gone to college

g.     If you hadn’t gone to college

h.     If you had gone to      College

i.     If you had never met

j.     If you hadn’t broken up with

11.     Make a list of all the things you wish you could do before your life is over.

12.     Make a list of the things no one knows about you.

13.     Write about your junior year in high school.

14.     Write about what life was like before you became a parent.

15.     Write about what you wish you had known before you became a parent.

16.     Make a list of the things you still want to learn about being a parent.

17.     Describe what it was like when you first met your partner.

18.     Write about what you wish you had known about your partner before you married him/her.

19.     Write about what you wish your partner had known about you before (s)he married you.

20.     Write a letter to yourself as you were at age 10. Tell yourself:

a.     What your life is like now

b.     What you have learned since you were 10

c.     What you want him or her to know

d.     What you want him or her to beware of

e.     What you want him or her to enjoy every moment of

21.     Write a letter to your own parents. Tell them what your life is like now.

22.     Write a letter to someone from your childhood or adolescence who didn’t appreciate you or who misunderstood you. Tell the person what you want them to know and how you feel about the lack of connection between you.

23.     Think of someone you never acknowledged for something important. Write that person a letter and acknowledge him or her.

24.     Think of someone who never acknowledged you for something important. Write them a letter and tell them what you want them to know.

25.     Make a list of five miracles you want to happen in the coming year. Write a paragraph or two describing each one and how your life will be better if it happens.

26.     For each of the five miracles, make a list of:

a.     Five barriers or forces that block or prevent it from happening

b.     Five positive influences, things that encourage or support its happening

c.     Five things you can do to reduce the barriers and strengthen the positive influences

27.     Write about the five things you most like to do.

28.     Write about the five things you most dislike doing.

29.     Make a list of five places you’d like to visit. Describe what you imagine them to be like.

30.     Write about three things you most regret doing or not doing. Describe what happened and how you feel about it.

31.     Write a letter to your children, even if they have not yet been born. Tell them what you want them to know about you.

32.     Write a letter to your grandchildren, even if they have not yet been born. Tell them what you want them to know about you.

33.     Write a letter to your descendants one hundred years from now. Describe what your life is like today.

34.     Add your own ideas here:

How to Balance Work and Family Life

What Is Your Definition of Success?

If you want to create balance in your life, it is important to know how you define success. The following list is a place to start. Cross off those that don’t seem important to you and add your own. Next, identify which of the items on your list are the most essential to your success definition and which items present the greatest challenge to you.

1.    Being able to move on when a situation is no longer productive or positive

2.    Being satisfied with your work situation

3.    Enjoying the present, not putting off the good things until some time in the future

4.    Expressing your creativity

5.    Fulfilling your potential

6.    Holding yourself with esteem separately from your work

7.    Being authentic

8.    Identifying your values and basing your choices on them

9.    Managing your money well

10.    Not feeling envious of others

11.    Paying attention to your spiritual life

12.    Spending time in fun ways away from your workplace

13.    Spending time with people you cherish and enjoy

14.    Taking good care of yourself

15.    Understanding when to fight for something and when to give in

What would you add? Which items present the greatest challenge to you?

The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule, also known as the Pareto Principle, says that 20% of what we do produces 80% of the results. Some examples of this principle are:

    20% of the people sell 80% of the widgets.

    20% of the salespeople earn 80% of the commission.

    20% of the parts in your car cause 80% of the breakdowns.

    20% of the members of an organization do 80% of the work.

The 80/20 principle can help anyone create balance in their life. Here’s how:

1.    Identify the times when you are most happy and productive (i.e., the 20% that produces the 80%) and increase them as much as possible.

2.    Identify the times when you are least happy and productive (i.e., the 80% that produces the 20%), and reduce them as much as possible.

Your Seven Habits of Success

You have probably heard of Stephen Covey’s Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. As you create balance in your life, think about your own list of success habits. What seven things would lead to more happiness in your life if you did them every day? Here are some ideas to get you started:

1.    Do something you love doing for at least part of the day.

2.    Get some physical exercise.

3.    Get some mental exercise.

4.    Stimulate yourself artistically.

5.    Stimulate yourself spiritually.

6.    Do something for someone else.

7.    Do something just for fun.

8.    Acknowledge yourself for something you said or did.

What ideas would you add?

Dealing with Workaholism

What if a person needs more than just self-help in dealing with a lack of balance in work and family life? An organization called Workaholics Anonymous can help.

Workaholics Anonymous is a 12-step recovery program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a “fellowship of individuals who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from workaholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop working compulsively.”

How Do You Know if You Are a Workaholic?

Ask yourself these questions if you think you might be a workaholic:

1.    Are you more comfortable talking about work than anything else?

2.    Do you become impatient with people who do things besides work?

3.    Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?

4.    Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop working and do something else?

5.    Do you get more energized about your work than about anything else, including your personal relationships?

6.    Do you look for ways to turn your hobbies into money-making endeavors?

7.    Do you often worry about the future, even when work is going well?

8.    Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won’t otherwise get done?

9.    Do you take work home with you? Do you work on days off? Do you work while you are on vacation?

10.    Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep, or when others are talking?

11.    Do you think that if you don’t work hard you will lose your job or be considered a failure?

12.    Do you work more than 40 hours in a typical week?

13.    Do you work or read while you are eating?

14.    Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?